I am extremely upset over his extremely short response to my facebook message ... I think I am qualified to be extremely vigilant the coming days, to be extremely aware of signals and future facebook responses from his side and I call him and he doesn't answer the phone and I call the home phone and of course ... we are conversing in 14 minutes but he closes it up such a casual manner .. just a "see you then" no sigh or a draged out " bye bye" ... and then "no, you hang up " and all that nauseating vomit of a "goodbye" which takes place in a telephone conversation between two how are in love ... and it is perhaps evidence of his originality and my uterus is sinking down and I can feel my vagina gasp after him like a fish on land ... Help .. Fucking help!

We are finally quiet and our bodies are lying quietly side by side but his verbal seizures continues and he talks in his sleep and he says "I wanna go home, I wanna go home" and he writhes around in bed, and then he says "I'm gonna fight in Bellator" and he tightens his fist and makes a little short sound like "Mm". With his giant hand he grabs my neck and now my jaw and he shakes it a little... Now he lies quiet...... he lies perfectly still on his back and I sink into my own sleep but wake up again when he turns over and speaks out in a clear voice directly into my ear "Fuck Mordor" and I smile and roll over on the side and he me grabs me around the waist with his strong arm and pulls my body against his and holds on me with a firm grip and I fall asleep.

He said "you can't be my Boo" and so right then that was all I wanted to be.

We stand on the porch smoking a Marlboro and drinking a Mickey's and he says "yo, such a shame we didn't...fornicate...last night" and I look up at him and says "dude, you had your dick in my ass "! "Don't you remember "?...."oh, yeah"! and we both laugh and it's just super nice.

So, I've thought about it and I see it like this: We are each other's therapists and we perform therapy on each other on each other's bodies and on each other's brains. He sticks his dick in me and that is to tell my body that I am still a woman and I open my pussy for him and it is to tell his body that he is still a man and we kiss and breathe air in and out through each other's openings and fill each other bodies with oxygen and it is to tell each other that we are worth it and we deserve to live and he says in mandatory terms "get down" and I lay down on the floor and he... inserts... and he presses it deeply inside of me, it's deep-therapy and it's about getting through as deeply as possible and I feel a scream pushing on but he command again and says "shut the fuck up" and he grabs my face with his huge hand, his hand is hiding half of my face and his sweat drips onto my back, he keeps repeating the same command "shut up"..."shut up" and I do, I don´t speak a word, absolutely nothing. I just smile and enjoy the therapy and enjoying that I don't have to think about anything or take any kind of decision but simply obey his stiff cock to drill in and out and now he drops his forehead onto my back and I can hear him exhale deeply and he leans his upper body against mine and now it's like I wake up again and the hypnosis is over but it is sweet agreement and it is good therapy and it costs absolutely nothing. In fact I wanna recommend.

THE AMERICAN BULLDOG

By the way. My new favorite phrase is " Come grind it on my face, I fucking love that shit" - The American Bulldog.

Just another posting on my own vanity and where I have my finger all the way up my own ass. I have now tried to improve my highlight disaster by coloring it with an ash blonde hair color, or at least that was the color that was on the package but the result is something like a lie and I have not yet decided if it is worse or much worse. My new hair color is inspired by San Lorenso River that runs through the town of Santa Cruz. The river has a muddy gray-brown color and several corpses has been found in that river. It also recalls the color of the bottom of the Joaquin’s bathtub (which has never been cleaned). And it also recalls the color of the water you get when you paint with watercolors and has spent all colors. It is the most terrible mix of gray, brown, orange, yellow and green. Witches hair! I'm so ugly that I was forced to take time off from work and I'm so ugly that I have to get drunk not to be able to see clearly when I'm at The Catalyst's toilets is correcting my makeup and I am sure that he will now choose to fuck someone else tonight or at least grope my friend, again because I am, older and much more evil. I am sure that tonight is the night where everyone can see my viciousness. I am prepared for it

Under a blazing sun in Central California, I am now sitting and
thinking of his dick.
He said it like this, with dramatic pauses between Words.
"I.. Want to… insert ........................ .. my dick.. in.. you"
and we both uttered a loud laugh.
I adore him more and more, the man who speaks so.
We walked through the town and the wild youth had made trouble the night before and they have smashed windows at the Velvet Underground and someone had painted on the wall "Fuck your rules, they are not ours." And we noticed it and it made me smile. And now we are sitting in the sun and we are drinking beer and he says "you smell like I want to fuck you" and I become a tad more horny and squeezes his pumped muscles and was it not illegal, we would had done it right there on the bench at Café Pergolesi and we both agreed on it and we circle the subject it a little more and we like talking about this topic and we sit there, jonesing, like two junkies who don’t have access to the drug, so they talk about how it feels to be high and what they would do if they had gear right now and they go through the ritual cause their dependence requires it. We have become dependent now. We are
depending on it. And so we are planning future meetings and expeditions to Monterey and a fishing trip and a dinner and he says he likes eating something sweet after sex and I say that I do too and we are delighted to find out that we have so much in common .

I need a habit and I started smoking pot but it has not really become a habit yet and I need something else and I will soon have something more and I will soon call the idiot and I will shave my legs and I will shave my pussy and I will meet with idiot who perhaps is my new habit and I will kiss him until he runs out of saliva and I will drain him of all his juices and I am tempted of several joints and more Corona and more sex in the car I want to have sex in the car now now now I think it is brilliant when he sticks his dick in me and I feel quite calm now that it is there and there and now there is a car that choose to park right in ass of our car but it is not the police so we don’t care and continues fucking until he comes on my ass, he has an idea about this is preventing me from getting pregnant and we drink some more beer and he puts his clothes on he says that it is a necessity because… it is he who drives the car

The day after: I sit on the red table at the Laundromat and thinking about his circumcised cock. It is the first time I've seen such one. I thought it was fucking great! and colossal and I look at the bruise on my leg and I think it is fucking great! and colossal and I'm actually quite happy for the American Bulldog has invited me to his house in Lompico located far out in the woods and is filled with skin heads and meth-freaks and I am quite unruly and I have plans to act really Swedish and free in those woods….